Most of the girls I’ve dated (ask me how many) seem to have
this belief that I am a very jealous guy. I don’t know the scientific theory
they applied (I’m guessing it’s Newton’s law of motion) and how they managed to
arrive at the same conclusion but I know that they are so… so… wrong. It is for
that reason, and for the sake of future applicants (in my companionship firm)
that I’m making clarifications.
Everyone gets jealous at one point or the other for various
reasons. It depends on the personality of the ‘jealouser’ and the object of his
jealousy – the ‘jealousee’. For the sake of this article, we would focus on
jealousy aroused by love and on a particular specie of lover- me!
There are three stages/ types of jealousy associated with my
love personality. The first type which is the most intense and aggressive, is
what i have termed ‘jealousy of the first order’. In biological terms, this
type of jealousy is also called ‘jealousy de prima orden’. Contrary to the
thoughts running in your mind, jealousy of the first order is mostly exhibited
on a jealousee that is not mine but i intend to own. Hmmm… I know you want some
explanation.
If I’m really interested in a relationship, the interlude
between when I open my mouth to … you know, and when the lady says yes/ no is
usually very intense for me and i tend to be unusually and irrationally
jealous. If I thus happen to see the lady with someone else in such compromised
proximity even with the cleanest intentions, I can die of jealousy. If she even
receives calls from a particular number too much, I begin to research about
that number either directly or indirectly.
I’ve told a lot of person’s about jealousy de prima orden,
but they feel that I’m just being unnecessarily worried or even stupid. But
it’s not my fault; Jealousy of the first order is borne from the fact that I
hate competition in relationship matters. This is because no matter how
swaggalicious you are, there would always be someone with more
swaggaliciousness that can spoil your ‘runs’. That is why i hate replies like
‘I’ll think about it’ and ‘give me more time’. It is better to just tell me a
big fat ‘NO’ so that i can face other things (other jealousees actually).
Well… I think i’ve done justice to the explanation. I hope
the ladies understand it? Please try to, if you are a lady. You might just be
my next jealousee…
Part 2 of the series is coming soon…
