I'M UNDER INTENSE PRESSURE...

I made no resolutions this year. Basically cos I've not been able to keep any resolution I've made since I was born. The reasons for this, I dont know. Maybe laziness on my part or insincerity or... I just cant fathom. I, thus, sincerely, resolved not to be making anymore resolutions! But I did make a prayer...

I prayed that God grant me the grace to contribute positively to people's lives this year. First, my immediate family members and then, others around me. This prayer was wrought out of my passion for suffering people, whether less privileged or not. I hate to see people suffer and so each day I pray for the grace to make people smile by contributing to their needs in whatever capacity. After prayin this prayer for so long, I decided, on the 31st of dec last year to make it my 'praysolution' for the year 2013 (since i had developed a talent for failing to keep resolutions).

The problem now is that there so many people within and outside my circle with so many needs includin me! Of course I can sacrifice the things I need to put smiles on people's faces but the more I've done that, the more the faces are multiplying. It is even now becoming increasingly difficult to maintain the smile on my own face.

What am I saying? Summary - I want to help people and make them happy. Apart from it being my praysolution for the year 2013, it also is who I feel I am. But I also have needs and the more I am looking into people's problems, the more it is becoming difficult to solve mine. And I know for sure that I cannot put smiles on other people's faces when I am frowning. I am at a dilenma here...

ADVISE TO INTENDING COUPLES...

I am usually not an outgoing person and so each time i take my time to attend any outing whatsoever, my expectations are unusually high. Thus my rantings here might just be usual or normal to an outgoing person. I attended a wedding yesterday and it was by far the most ... (apologies to the couples) embarrassing wedding (I have not attended much anyway) I have ever attended since my parents 'conceived' me. My experience would surprise you.

The invitation came from the bride who is a fellow corper in my PPA. We (other corpers) decided to

FEELINGS OF NOSTALGIA - Holiday is coming...

This was the most inspiring song I ever learnt in my school days as a kid. If you schooled in Nigeria, then you should know this song. It was always sung at the end of the term ushering in the holidays. May be I should sing the song in case you've forgotten.

Holiday is coming(2ce)

No more teacher's cane

No more morning bells...

Teaching in a school as part of my NYSC service provided me with an opportunity to hear the song again and I felt so nostalgic... You should have seen us then when we sang this song, we did it with so much enthusiasm, vibrancy and joy. Who didn't want to be free from the teachers cane? It was the most dreadful instrument of correction in those days; six or twelve strokes and you are in another realm - a realm of pain. I feared those bodily inflictions caused by the cane but I was somehow spared from it, for I had no flesh covering my bones where harm or pain could be inflicted on. I saw this as a liability but my friends thought it was an asset. Well, whether asset or liability, I was painfully thin, ...so thin that I could be compared with a toothpick.

DON'T GO TO A BEER PARLOUR WHEN YOU'RE FRUSTRATED!

Today's sunday service was something else. I have never seen people so happy... I pride myself as someone that is not easily moved by whatever tactic - words or action. I can even argue with my pastor on any issue if need be. But today, I was overwhelmed by the testimonies of people that I was nearly (nearly...) moved to tears. I didn't cry (as a hard guy), but my eyes where wet. I realised that God has done so much for people that i was moved to praise him; not for myself, but for them. I was happy because they were happy - it is not everyday that you see happy people in Nigeria!

It is true that apart from football, the only thing that can make nigerians forget about their problems is the presence of God or (if God is not present), the place of worship. People danced as if they had no problems. To them, what God had done already was enough to praise him. I was really moved. If you really know me, you will understand the implications of me getting moved.

I discovered as the service moved on that the best place to be inspired is the house of God. A lot of people came with prayer points, but the atmosphere was so praise charged that they forgot about their problems. If you want to relieve yourself of some stress, don't go to a beer parlour, walk into a church... (not anyhow church o)

I also discovered (I know you'll argue) that it is more inspiring to praise God in yoruba than in any other language. I know Nigerians are also sentimental and emotional when it comes to tribal issues, but i'm speaking scientifically. I have attended an Igbo dominated church (when I was in Lagos), and also a niger delta church (benin/delta) while i was in benin. The praise worship in those places were awesome but does not compare to what i feel every sunday in ibadan here - talk about that talking drum and the words of adoration in yoruba language... Before you argue, just know for the records that I'm not yoruba (dont even really like the culture), but the truth must be told...

MY ENCOUNTER WITH A GAY...

2012 is gone (for real) and 2013 is here. A lot of events happened in my life last year, but I dont want to bore you with a chronological review. However, there's one event that keeps turning my tummy and I thought I should share it with you guys.

I never really thought that this gay thing was real (as in, real... ) until I had an encounter. I knew that it existed though but never believed it could exist in such close proximity to my social environment (I can be naive sometimes). You know that there are things that are only realistic on tv screens and the pages of magazines eg angelic looking models and guys with white teeth that sparkle on close-up adverts!

I was trying to get a bike home from work one sunny afternoon when (I met a little lizard... Haha..) I had this encounter. A guy was driving across the bus stop where I was standing but continued to stare at me as he drove past (hmmm). After driving sluggishly and staring irresistably for a while, he stopped and beckoned on me to come. I was so curious that I didn't waste time before appearing at his presence. He asked for my facebook id (he knew i would not give out my phone number) and I quickly obliged him, hoping so see where it was leading to. We talked a little and parted ways.

When I got home, I found his friend request. I quickly accepted and we started chatting. He said he wanted me to come visit him and when I asked why, he claimed to love me (o... I began to blush - nonsense). I laughed hard but decided to play along. He promised me heaven and earth and pleaded that if i said no, he would die (imagine...). Now I began to see the awesome powers women enjoy when a guy attempts to woo them - bottom power. But I was not about to give my bottom to this guy. I wonder why a full blooded man would claim not to be moved by the soft touch of a woman's 'mende mende'.

Anyway, I played along like a girl would, giving him the impression that I was also gay. I was enjoying the adventure until I began to feel irritated so I abruptly told him off. I could not help but imagine that my asshole would be the constant object of his fantasy. It was so gross... Again I wonder how some girls get trilled by stupid promises from guys cos this guy even promised to get me visa to any part of the world. But that complicated issues as I began to feel like a cheap material girl (sorry... guy).

Well, he's off my back for now but I feel sorry for him cos he sounded sincere, he was trully in love... (idiot!). My question is - how do people get to become gay? Is it natural for a man to 'luv' another man? Or is it a habit that is learnt? If you are gay, you can help me out. Lastly, I never knew that flattery works wonders on women cos when he said I was so handsome, I nearly melted like butter (error... error... error...). Well, I think there's an element of truth in it. 'Abi' I no fine?