Nostalgia - My most embarrassing moment...

If you make enquiries from a lot of people as to their most embarrassing moment, they would likely share somewhat similar stories. For most guys, their most embarrassing moment would likely be when a girl turned them down in public. I strongly believe (even without research),that this is applicable to 60% of Nigerian guys.  Although I do not think it should be embarrassing, a lot of guys seem to feel it is. For me, getting turned down by a girl is perfectly normal even if it was in a stadium and attracted a lot of attention. I, however, cannot actually say how painful or embarrassing it is cos no lady has been bold enough to turn me down, even in private.  However, before you applaud my record, it would be good for you to know that since I was born, I have never wooed any lady, It has always been the other way round, hence the record. It is even getting to the stage that fellow guys are now coming after me. If you think I’m lying, read about my encounter with a gay here.

Now for Ladies, I don’t think you would find any embarrassing moment that unites them all. I wonder why Ladies are always difficult to understand. Maybe it is because they were made from just one rib – according to my younger brother. But if you force me to guess, which I know you want me to, I would say that the most embarrassing moment for any lady would be the moment when… I’m trying so hard to guess but can’t think of anything. “Na wah for women o…”

I know you are itchy and want to hear my own story and not some general assumption I imagined from my small head. What if I disappoint you by saying that I’ve never had any embarrassing moment. Lol… I can see you vehemently shouting – ‘na lie jor, abeg tell us’. Okay, because of the pressure from your reading eyes, I’ll tell you; but you’ll promise to keep it secret. I don’t want it making the front page of the punch newspaper. Ah… I think that is even the most embarrassing moment for ladies – when their secrets are let out – got ya! But if you think I am wrong, which I know I’m not, you are free to apprehend me in the comment box below or give me a call (ladies only)

Okay, enough of the suspense, my most embarrassing moment was the day I was totally embarrassed. Hehehe… I went to school that very morning not knowing the ‘calamity’ that would befall me. I was in the class gisting with my friends while we waited for the assembly bell. Suddenly I heard some of my classmates shouting – “Victor, your mama dey come with cane o………” My heart jumped into my mouth but I forced it out and quickly rushed out to confirm. Unfortunately, it was true. I quickly ran out of the class to hide in my school backyard with the help of my friends, but I knew it was half measure – mama can never back down. She started searching for me and included my teachers in the search. Before long, half the pupils in school and some teachers were searching for me. I then decided to come out before the whole school became aware. You would not believe what mama did, she flogged me home and back to school. When I returned to school that morning, my friends and classmate wanted to know the offence I had committed – thinking it would have been grievous for my mom visit me in school with a cane. I initially refused but later opened up – I did not comb my hair before leaving home. Their mouths went agape…

My friends shouted, they could not believe their eyes (sorry, ears).  I went on to narrate the story; I was angry with my mom that morning before I left home but immediately I left, She called my name, informing me to make sure I combed my hair. I ignored her and continued my journey to school and she, of course, like the disciplinary soldier that she is, decide to teach me a lesson I would never forget. I sure have not forgotten…

So there it is… my most embarrassing moment. If you think you have been embarrassed in any way that surpasses this, you are free to share. But I bet it can’t be more embarrassing than what I just narrated. And if you think I might have been too young to get embarrassed, think again, cos when this happened, I was eight years and in primary 4 – I already had a girlfriend!