I have never kept a resolution

I know I have been away for a very long time and you are probably angry with me. I am sorry. That is why i decided to do one last post before the final seconds of 2014 ticks out. Enjoy!!!

A colleague of mine inquired of my resolutions for the year 2015. It was a question that threw me off balance (kind off) as I never gave it any thought before then. But then I remembered, that my 2013 resolution was to stop making resolutions! Interestingly, this is the only resolution I have kept. I don’t know what you think (I would really love to know though) but I think it was/ has been one of the best resolutions I have made since I was born. Don’t get me wrong my dear; I hope to improve in 2015 and do great things but I ain't gonna tie myself to some difficult behavioural goals which I have always failed to achieve since I was a kid. You are free to term me irresponsible and childish.

During my childhood days, I was a fan of New Year resolutions and always made one at the end of every year. I think I started making resolutions since I was ten (not sure though). Interestingly, the resolution was always the same year in, year out as I always failed to keep them. As kids then living in Ajegunle (a crazy suburb in Lagos), our weaknesses were fighting and the use of abusive languages (cursing) - at least by our own assessment (and the judgment passed by our Sunday school teacher), which we tried year in and out to turn from by making serious resolutions. We would usually gather in a circle at the playground on the 31st of December every year where each kid would then be required to proclaim his resolution. Apart from a few variances, the resolutions were always the same across board; you’ll hear something like – “My resolution is to stop cursing and fighting and to always go on errands for my mummy, so help me God”. Painfully, sometimes, the resolutions do not last a day; as a few hours into the New Year and we were already cursing and fighting (for chicken at least).

Those type of resolutions were not easy to keep in the environment where we resided. Ajegunle was a place (don’t know if it still is…) where trouble goes out of its way to look for you and ensure that you are involved in its activities one way or another. It was totally impossible not to be involved in an argument with another kid (rival kid) that would result in the use of abusive languages and to the extreme, a full blown fight for a week, not to talk of a year. The situation was made worse by parents as they usually, indirectly encouraged the fights. You dare not go back home to complain to your parents that someone slapped you or insulted you, as you are certain to get serious spanking from your parent for not being able to defend yourself especially when the trouble maker was your age mate. If the trouble maker was older, they would usually take up the fight themselves! So you see, fighting was a norm and was considered normal; the only reason why we wanted to stop was that our Sunday school teachers kept hammering into our ears that we would go to hell if we continued quarreling and fighting! We didn't like hell (as there would be no place for us to play), we preferred heaven!

We soon got wiser and decided to amend the nature of our resolutions so that we could at least score some pass mark. We knew that fighting and quarreling was inevitable. Even running errands all year round was herculean as our parents always exploited humble sons. Once it is discovered that you are humble and obedient to the last, you get to run all the errands and do all the chores, including those rejected by your stubborn siblings. So you see, even when we wanted to be obedient and respectful, a little bit of stubbornness was necessary to reduce our workload! (or chores load!). As stated earlier, we had to amend our resolution. Emeka was the first person to put forth the amended resolution which everyone quickly adopted. His resolution was to curse only when necessary ie when he was not the trouble maker and to fight not more than 10 times in the new year. We were shocked when we heard it but was amazed by his creativity. Those who had said theirs before him had to rescind and adopt his own. I also adopted it and that was the first time I succeeded in achieving my ‘pseudo’ resolution. Emeka, the originator still failed to achieve his as he fought more than 50 times that year (lol…).

As an adult, things have pretty much not changed – resolutions are hard to keep! Well, that’s why they are called resolutions abi…? So when the idea came in 2013 to resolve not to make any more resolutions, I quickly embraced it. Goodluck to those still making resolutions, you can consult me on ways to keep your resolutions!

See you in 2015.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!