I have never kept a resolution

I know I have been away for a very long time and you are probably angry with me. I am sorry. That is why i decided to do one last post before the final seconds of 2014 ticks out. Enjoy!!!

A colleague of mine inquired of my resolutions for the year 2015. It was a question that threw me off balance (kind off) as I never gave it any thought before then. But then I remembered, that my 2013 resolution was to stop making resolutions! Interestingly, this is the only resolution I have kept. I don’t know what you think (I would really love to know though) but I think it was/ has been one of the best resolutions I have made since I was born. Don’t get me wrong my dear; I hope to improve in 2015 and do great things but I ain't gonna tie myself to some difficult behavioural goals which I have always failed to achieve since I was a kid. You are free to term me irresponsible and childish.

This World is full of Risk!

This world is risky.  I often feel that this is an understatement; this world is the definition of risk! It is so risky that it would be too risky for us not to acknowledge that fact. Risk, they say, is the possibility that things would not go as plan. If we are to go with that definition, then you would agree with me that this world is risk personified cos it is currently not going according to plan. In Nigeria, this risk is heightened a thousand fold as our own world is just upside down! We only survive, by the Grace of God!

The Best Way to Hide your Valuables

Some years ago, I was billed to take the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board’s Exam. I was very prepared and very sure that I would score above 200 marks, which was the minimum cut- off for progression unto the next stage of the admission hunting war. I was however, not sure of the particular range above 200 my score would fall into: whether it would be 201 or 299, I couldn’t say, I just knew that based on my level of preparation, I could not score below 200. But I wanted to score very high, at least in the range of 250 - 270 to boost my chances of gaining admission that year. So I met a friend who was into exams runs and he promised to forward some answers to my phone on the day of the exam as far as I can manage to take my phone into the exam hall. I knew that might be a problem, but I still assured him that I would be with my phone and he should perform his magic as promised!

Short poem - The past beget the future!?

Okay people, I know It's been long since I updated this blog. It's not my fault - I've been so busy and tired. Tired to the extent that I wore the back of my shirt to work and did not notice until I got to the office. Imagine the intensity of the tiredness! I noticed though that people kept giving me that surprising look but nobody was bold enough to approach me. I interpreted their glances to mean that they admired my looks - I actually, was feeling fly. chai! I pity myself! Anyway, today, I'll be doing a poem.

This poem came to me in one of my sober moments - I actually do have lots of sober moments. That's where most of my posts come from. This one however, came from a very sober moment. Infact, when I wrote this poem, I was more sober than what the word 'sober' meant in the dictionary. A lot of us, including me, really want to do things differently. We want to change; at least from good to better (I would not agree that I am bad, mbanu!). But you see, habits (whether good or bad) are not so easy to kill. In short, if you are not careful, they would turn around to kill you!

So... as I was saying... Just Enjoy!

THE PAST BEGETS THE FUTURE...

This shall be the last

The last of all my past
A past that overshadows the present
And attempts to creep into the future
A past that has refused to die
But has the future in its eye

How can it be my past?

When it still holds me in its grip
And torments me with its whip
Its guilty feelings I cannot cast
And its dark memories fill my nostrils

But it can be my last…

Yes I can put it in the past
I can tie on my shoe lace
And take my future to its place
A place dissected from the past
The last of which I just passed

But if past begets the future

Then I have not seen the last
The last of a misdirected past…
 

I hope this made you sober, like I was when I wrote it!

The Gospel of my existence

Like play, like play, 2013 has come and gone (or would soon go). I envisage that everyone would be in the mood of stock-taking, resolution making (that would obviously not be kept) and joyful celebrations as they hope to encroach into 2014. I intended a very serious post to end the year but changed my mind. I getting too serious these days... So, for your 'enjoytainment', I came up with this post. It's not going to leave you in a state of rib cracking laughter but it's something you would enjoy...

Nostalgia - My most embarrassing moment...

If you make enquiries from a lot of people as to their most embarrassing moment, they would likely share somewhat similar stories. For most guys, their most embarrassing moment would likely be when a girl turned them down in public. I strongly believe (even without research),that this is applicable to 60% of Nigerian guys.  Although I do not think it should be embarrassing, a lot of guys seem to feel it is. For me, getting turned down by a girl is perfectly normal even if it was in a stadium and attracted a lot of attention. I, however, cannot actually say how painful or embarrassing it is cos no lady has been bold enough to turn me down, even in private.  However, before you applaud my record, it would be good for you to know that since I was born, I have never wooed any lady, It has always been the other way round, hence the record. It is even getting to the stage that fellow guys are now coming after me. If you think I’m lying, read about my encounter with a gay here.

My First Day At Work...

My first day at work was a mixture of experiences for me. At some point I was happy, at other times during the day I was not so happy and for a major part of the day I was lost in deep thoughts. I know you would expect me to be totally happy and in a celebratory mood throughout the day but that’s me for you; even I, don’t totally understand myself.

 

Feelings of Nostalgia - My mama's armoury

I grew up in a Christian home and my parents were staunch believers in the ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ verse of the bible. In fact, no day goes by without that verse being quoted by my mum or dad, but mostly my dad. My mum was usually the enforcer of the verse. It was some sort of an arrangement; my dad would quote the verse in faith all day but like stubborn demons, we wouldn’t bulge because we knew that he was bluffing, but my mama was no bluffer, she was the activator of my dad’s faith in that verse. So each time my dad spoke the word, we would quickly turn to see if the ‘holy spirit’ (mama) was around to activate it.

What drives you...?

Different people are driven or motivated by different things. Most people are self-driven or sellf-motivated (I don't know how that works but I envy them). Others are driven (according to my books) by goals, a challenge, success, accomplishments, etc. For me, I discovered recently that all my life, I have been driven by fear. Yes, fear...

Most of my successes have been motivated by one fear or the other - Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of dissappointing my loved ones, ...fear of responsibility. I have actually succeeded in accomplishing most tasks by being afraid of one thing or the other and I'm beginning to wonder these days if fear is such a bad thing afterall... What drives you? 

I no wan do again...

Since my childhood days, I've always longed to become a man, though my reasons where mostly childish and selfish: I had this erroneous misconception that as a man, i could whatever i wanted and get away with it! Who would blame me then, i noticed that my parents were never whipped even when they were in the wrong. I always envied them for that! Imagine also that unlike we kids, my dad was always served on breakable plates with at least three pieces of meat while

You can't protect yourself totally...

source 

Something happened some days back that is causing me to reflect big time; basically on how we feel that we have control over certain situations that are certainly beyond our comprehension, not to talk of control.

It is true that we are responsible for the twists and turns our lives take. This is basically cos we are responsible for planning our lives and ensuring that things go as planned.Most times however, there are many unenvisaged uncontrollable factors that may or may not work to bring our plans to fruition. We, therefore can only do our best and leave the rest to God, fate or luck as the case may be.

I entered a cab that day on my way back from a date (with the pepper and meat seller) and discovered that