I cooked!

I have a couple of strong points, especially on the home front. For example, I am good at keeping the home clean and looking after kids; although there was a time when a neighbour’s 2 year old that I was supposed to look after found itself in the middle of the road pursuing its ball, I still believe I am good at looking after kid as that was just a one-time incident. And in case you are wondering, the kid didn’t die! Unfortunately, of all my numerous home front strong points, cooking was just not and has never been one of them! I hated cooking to the bone and I just can’t fathom why. I just know that it was one boring chore that I hate – along with doing the dishes actually.

My Valentine's Day Experience

This year would have taken me to the pinnacle of my love career; unfortunately, it didn’t!!!

I woke up this morning (Feb. 14) with three lovely options for a val. Lucky me right??? I have always believed in the prophecies of my pastor, Pastor … okay you don’t need to know his name. But when he said it, during our 31^st night service that somebody would be 3 times lucky this year, I knew he was talking to me and of course I responded in faith - My “Amen” was the loudest!

And so as my faith would have it, I met Mary, Blessing and Ayo (such weird combination abi?) in quick succession in January this year and they quickly fell in line – Did I tell you I was a charmer? Now it’s good you know the positions of the three ladies. Mary was the main “chick” while Blessing and Ayo were the "side chickens”! Of course you wouldn't be dumb enough to want to ask why Mary is the main chick, would you??? She was the mother of Jesus for Christ sake! How could she not be the main chick! Well, she had other “main chick” qualities though which gave her the first position – but I can’t say it here, it’s a secret no guy wants to let out! Blessing was “side chick" no. 1 while Ayo was "side chick" no. 2 – more of a corner chick though. Now Blessing didn’t know she was a side chick but Ayo had an inkling that she was a "corner chick" but didn’t complain or look too deep – she loved the monthly movies, fast food and other stuffs like that – "you know na".

The Return of the Visitor

I cannot vividly remember the last time it visited. I think I was still in Secondary school then; basking in the flamboyance of my teenage pride (that was just to challenge Wole Soyinka, hehehe…). The visit was however short-lived as I managed to get a hold of it and overpower it’s disgraceful intent; knocking it out flat in the opening rounds (it was not aware of my Mohammed Alistic butterfly skills). It left angry, I saw the anger on its texture before pushing down it with large buckets of water to its rightful position. How it managed not to stay there, I can’t tell. 10 years later it returned, with so much fury. I never knew it still harbored that rage and wicked revengeful thoughts, waiting patiently for the opportunity to strike back – and the opportunity did come! This time its attack was stronger, leaving no room for failure on its part; its sting was bitter, carrying so much force. My skills were nowhere to be found – you wouldn’t blame me though, I had past my prime. Did it succeed then? – You would find out soon…

The Loventures of Adewale

Wale’s heart was beating fast, so fast that he thought it was going to race out of his chest. His hands were sweating profusely, threatening to drown his Nokia 3310® but not as much as the ocean of salty liquid that had gathered on his chest and armpit. It was almost a minute since he got the “what is it” response to his “I want to tell you something” statement and he was still struggling to find his voice, it was another definition of dumbness. In that tense and fearful state, he managed to mumble some words after a while. “What did you say?” Kemi queried instantly. Kemi was the active and lively type, always with friends, never afraid to challenge anybody and never ashamed to utter her views. She was the opposite of Wale.

Nostalgia - My most embarrassing moment...

If you make enquiries from a lot of people as to their most embarrassing moment, they would likely share somewhat similar stories. For most guys, their most embarrassing moment would likely be when a girl turned them down in public. I strongly believe (even without research),that this is applicable to 60% of Nigerian guys.  Although I do not think it should be embarrassing, a lot of guys seem to feel it is. For me, getting turned down by a girl is perfectly normal even if it was in a stadium and attracted a lot of attention. I, however, cannot actually say how painful or embarrassing it is cos no lady has been bold enough to turn me down, even in private.  However, before you applaud my record, it would be good for you to know that since I was born, I have never wooed any lady, It has always been the other way round, hence the record. It is even getting to the stage that fellow guys are now coming after me. If you think I’m lying, read about my encounter with a gay here.

ADVISE TO INTENDING COUPLES...

I am usually not an outgoing person and so each time i take my time to attend any outing whatsoever, my expectations are unusually high. Thus my rantings here might just be usual or normal to an outgoing person. I attended a wedding yesterday and it was by far the most ... (apologies to the couples) embarrassing wedding (I have not attended much anyway) I have ever attended since my parents 'conceived' me. My experience would surprise you.

The invitation came from the bride who is a fellow corper in my PPA. We (other corpers) decided to