My Valentine's Day Experience

This year would have taken me to the pinnacle of my love career; unfortunately, it didn’t!!!

I woke up this morning (Feb. 14) with three lovely options for a val. Lucky me right??? I have always believed in the prophecies of my pastor, Pastor … okay you don’t need to know his name. But when he said it, during our 31^st night service that somebody would be 3 times lucky this year, I knew he was talking to me and of course I responded in faith - My “Amen” was the loudest!

And so as my faith would have it, I met Mary, Blessing and Ayo (such weird combination abi?) in quick succession in January this year and they quickly fell in line – Did I tell you I was a charmer? Now it’s good you know the positions of the three ladies. Mary was the main “chick” while Blessing and Ayo were the "side chickens”! Of course you wouldn't be dumb enough to want to ask why Mary is the main chick, would you??? She was the mother of Jesus for Christ sake! How could she not be the main chick! Well, she had other “main chick” qualities though which gave her the first position – but I can’t say it here, it’s a secret no guy wants to let out! Blessing was “side chick" no. 1 while Ayo was "side chick" no. 2 – more of a corner chick though. Now Blessing didn’t know she was a side chick but Ayo had an inkling that she was a "corner chick" but didn’t complain or look too deep – she loved the monthly movies, fast food and other stuffs like that – "you know na".

The Return of the Visitor

I cannot vividly remember the last time it visited. I think I was still in Secondary school then; basking in the flamboyance of my teenage pride (that was just to challenge Wole Soyinka, hehehe…). The visit was however short-lived as I managed to get a hold of it and overpower it’s disgraceful intent; knocking it out flat in the opening rounds (it was not aware of my Mohammed Alistic butterfly skills). It left angry, I saw the anger on its texture before pushing down it with large buckets of water to its rightful position. How it managed not to stay there, I can’t tell. 10 years later it returned, with so much fury. I never knew it still harbored that rage and wicked revengeful thoughts, waiting patiently for the opportunity to strike back – and the opportunity did come! This time its attack was stronger, leaving no room for failure on its part; its sting was bitter, carrying so much force. My skills were nowhere to be found – you wouldn’t blame me though, I had past my prime. Did it succeed then? – You would find out soon…

My first 'corporate' interview

I attended my first post graduate interview yesterday and it was ...phew! I purposely incorporated the word 'corporate' in the title because it was not actually my first interview. I've had other interviews for teaching, sales boy, 'Danfo' driving etc but this was the first major sensible one with prospects of a good pay. As usual, I would not pass on a good opportunity to learn something new cos for me, each encounter and event is an opportunity to learn and become better. Now I don't want to be selfish in this case cos I know most of us are job hunting. So i'll reveal my experience and the lessons learnt.

The interview was for a bank job (Name withheld for security reasons) and it was conducted at their headquarters in Victoria Island, lagos. Now if you are going for an interview in a corporate

You can't protect yourself totally...

source 

Something happened some days back that is causing me to reflect big time; basically on how we feel that we have control over certain situations that are certainly beyond our comprehension, not to talk of control.

It is true that we are responsible for the twists and turns our lives take. This is basically cos we are responsible for planning our lives and ensuring that things go as planned.Most times however, there are many unenvisaged uncontrollable factors that may or may not work to bring our plans to fruition. We, therefore can only do our best and leave the rest to God, fate or luck as the case may be.

I entered a cab that day on my way back from a date (with the pepper and meat seller) and discovered that

DON'T GO TO A BEER PARLOUR WHEN YOU'RE FRUSTRATED!

Today's sunday service was something else. I have never seen people so happy... I pride myself as someone that is not easily moved by whatever tactic - words or action. I can even argue with my pastor on any issue if need be. But today, I was overwhelmed by the testimonies of people that I was nearly (nearly...) moved to tears. I didn't cry (as a hard guy), but my eyes where wet. I realised that God has done so much for people that i was moved to praise him; not for myself, but for them. I was happy because they were happy - it is not everyday that you see happy people in Nigeria!

It is true that apart from football, the only thing that can make nigerians forget about their problems is the presence of God or (if God is not present), the place of worship. People danced as if they had no problems. To them, what God had done already was enough to praise him. I was really moved. If you really know me, you will understand the implications of me getting moved.

I discovered as the service moved on that the best place to be inspired is the house of God. A lot of people came with prayer points, but the atmosphere was so praise charged that they forgot about their problems. If you want to relieve yourself of some stress, don't go to a beer parlour, walk into a church... (not anyhow church o)

I also discovered (I know you'll argue) that it is more inspiring to praise God in yoruba than in any other language. I know Nigerians are also sentimental and emotional when it comes to tribal issues, but i'm speaking scientifically. I have attended an Igbo dominated church (when I was in Lagos), and also a niger delta church (benin/delta) while i was in benin. The praise worship in those places were awesome but does not compare to what i feel every sunday in ibadan here - talk about that talking drum and the words of adoration in yoruba language... Before you argue, just know for the records that I'm not yoruba (dont even really like the culture), but the truth must be told...

MY ENCOUNTER WITH A GAY...

2012 is gone (for real) and 2013 is here. A lot of events happened in my life last year, but I dont want to bore you with a chronological review. However, there's one event that keeps turning my tummy and I thought I should share it with you guys.

I never really thought that this gay thing was real (as in, real... ) until I had an encounter. I knew that it existed though but never believed it could exist in such close proximity to my social environment (I can be naive sometimes). You know that there are things that are only realistic on tv screens and the pages of magazines eg angelic looking models and guys with white teeth that sparkle on close-up adverts!

I was trying to get a bike home from work one sunny afternoon when (I met a little lizard... Haha..) I had this encounter. A guy was driving across the bus stop where I was standing but continued to stare at me as he drove past (hmmm). After driving sluggishly and staring irresistably for a while, he stopped and beckoned on me to come. I was so curious that I didn't waste time before appearing at his presence. He asked for my facebook id (he knew i would not give out my phone number) and I quickly obliged him, hoping so see where it was leading to. We talked a little and parted ways.

When I got home, I found his friend request. I quickly accepted and we started chatting. He said he wanted me to come visit him and when I asked why, he claimed to love me (o... I began to blush - nonsense). I laughed hard but decided to play along. He promised me heaven and earth and pleaded that if i said no, he would die (imagine...). Now I began to see the awesome powers women enjoy when a guy attempts to woo them - bottom power. But I was not about to give my bottom to this guy. I wonder why a full blooded man would claim not to be moved by the soft touch of a woman's 'mende mende'.

Anyway, I played along like a girl would, giving him the impression that I was also gay. I was enjoying the adventure until I began to feel irritated so I abruptly told him off. I could not help but imagine that my asshole would be the constant object of his fantasy. It was so gross... Again I wonder how some girls get trilled by stupid promises from guys cos this guy even promised to get me visa to any part of the world. But that complicated issues as I began to feel like a cheap material girl (sorry... guy).

Well, he's off my back for now but I feel sorry for him cos he sounded sincere, he was trully in love... (idiot!). My question is - how do people get to become gay? Is it natural for a man to 'luv' another man? Or is it a habit that is learnt? If you are gay, you can help me out. Lastly, I never knew that flattery works wonders on women cos when he said I was so handsome, I nearly melted like butter (error... error... error...). Well, I think there's an element of truth in it. 'Abi' I no fine?